1987 – Child Slave

Bridgewater, NJ

Got robbed when I agreed to vacuum the whole house for .25 cents. Vowed to make a better life for myself.

 

1993 – 1994 Confections by Jon, Cashier

Middlesex, NJ

Ate a whole cake in under 5 minutes.

 

1994 – 1995 Herman’s Sporting Goods Store, Cashier and Shoe Saleswoman

Greenbrook, NJ

Quickly learned that a jockstrap and a chinstrap are two very different things.

 

1995 – Freelance Magazine Writer

Middlesex, NJ

Wrote and sold my very first story to Seventeen magazine called, The Maxi Pad Dilemma. (And yes, there is a dilemma.)

 

1995 – 1998 Dr. Neil Perkins Dentistry, Assistant to the Dental Assistant’s Assistant

Bound Brook, NJ

Witnessed a root canal. Crossed "Dentist" off of my list of potential careers.

 

1997 – Sleazy Restaurant I Can’t Recall, Cocktail Waitress

Wilkes-Barre, PA

Learned how to say, “Take your hand off my ass,” in Spanish.

 

1998, FAO Schwarz – Catalogue Intern

New York, NY

Wrote my first official printed piece of copy: Available in more colors.

 

2000 – 2001 Grey Advertising, Copywriter

New York, NY

Wrote the best lipstick shade name of all time for a kid’s line of lip-gloss: Fe-Fi-Fo-Plum.

 

2001 – 2002 Timely Advertising, Copywriter/Creative Director

Middlesex, NJ

Wrote dozens of those local car dealer commercials and newspaper ads that make you wish horse and buggies were still an option.

 

2002 – 2004 The Nulman Group, Copywriter/Associate Creative Director 

Whitehouse Station, NJ

Almost bought my own engagement ring from a very persuasive (and somewhat insulting) diamond dealer.

 

2005 – 2006 MTV Networks, Copywriter

New York, NY

Got contact high from Snoop Dogg in the elevator.

 

2006 – 2010 NBC Universal/Oxygen, Senior Copywriter

New York, NY

Watched a ton of Bad Girls Club which proved to me why it's important to always carry an extra pair of underwear and a toothbrush in my purse.

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2015 - 2018 The Spew, Blogger

Used the Internet to passive-aggressively make fun of people.

 

2010- 2021 NBC Universal/SYFY, Senior Copywriter, then Senior Copywriter/Producer, then Supervising Producer, then Editorial Director (of USA too)

New York, NY

Wrote the best tagline of my career for a paranormal investigation show called Weird or What? starring William Shatner. Ready? Wait for it... "The Paranormal Investigation Show That Is Completely Full of Shat."

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2021- Present Homicidal Octopus - Killer Ideas With Lots of Legs

Montclair, NJ

Someone dared me to name my LLC Homicidal Octopus, so I did -- 'cause I'm a risk-taker. Now I'm hired by companies all over the country to make cool shit. 

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Awards

In 4th Grade I won 2nd place in a Dental Association contest for my tagline: "Brush and Floss, Show Plaque Who's Boss." All of my other awards pale in comparison.  

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